ID ten T

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold,
the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of
buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a
minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was
wrong?"

He replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired,
"An ID ten T" Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it
again?"

Harold grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of an "ID ten T" error
before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it
out."

So I wrote it down.

I D 1 0 T

I used to like Harold...but now I'm not so sure!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Which brings me to the co-worker.....trying to Network to her computer today I could not.  Mind you I NEEDED TO DO PAYROLL.

Many times I go to her desk and run my own adware to de-bug.  I don't want any of her virus's.  She is running AVG ooooh la la...I said "get rid of it!!"...........running my own adware I find several issues.  I still don't know why she refuses to use aol's McAffe even.

Then I reboot........and viola!

(She's the electronics wiz.)

Guess she has the "ID ten T" problem too.

Then I'm talking on the phone to a field superintendant with a mound of paper in my hands looking through them.........she takes them away all but one piece.

I cannot continue my conversation........I don't have any information anymore.  She has walked away knowing I was still on the phone.

Again that "ID ten T" syndrome.

Some days it seems to just surround me.

Here are the winners of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

The 2006 winners are:

1. Cashtration: (n.) The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone: (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon: (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic Fit: (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug: (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor: (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Judge rules

Have you heard about this case? Great answer from the judge!

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, "Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists' holiday!"

The lawyer pompously said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists.  Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?"

The judge said, "Well it comes every year on exactly the same date - April 1st!   Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,'  consider that Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53:1 states, 'The fool has said in his heart, there is no God.'   Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!  Get it?"

PRAY THAT SOME DAY OUR COURTS WILL BE FULL OF THESE KIND OF JUDGES......MAYBE THEN, WE CAN PUT GOD BACK WHERE HE BELONGS --- IN EVERYTHING WE DO.

 

The Price Of Gas

 

I went  into a gas station today and
asked for two dollars worth of gas..... 

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

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Is it my imagination or did gas prices come down a few cents?  Last weekend, being Memorial Day and all, prices here had gone up to about $3.09 some as low as $3.04. 

This week I noticed that some were at $2.97 !!!!  Even some of those that were in the above $3 range.  That's a nice change even if it is only "change".

I find myself flipping the proverbial coin.....do I go to "XYZ" Store or do I wait until I HAVE to go that way.......like on Monday when I HAVE to head back to work and will pass the store.  This is very depressing.  No remedy in sight for the high cost of living these days. 

What prices do you have in your neck of the woods ???

CHOCOLATE! I may be saved.........

...............from myself!  I am such a choco-holic. 

          And when I found the Hershey's Milk Chocolate Truffles you would have thought that they were going to be banned forever the way I was devouring them.  (Not to mention the 5lbs I put on)

I do love chocolate.  Now Hershey's has come out with one that is absolutely fabulous and 40% less sugar BUT it's not noticable

http://www.hersheys.com/happiness/goodness/faqs/index.asp?faq=2

 

Try it.........I was skeptical at first.  But I savored the first bite, really analyzing it.  It is very very good!

 

Wonder what the Reserves will taste like?????

Guess they'll be my next test.

 

Grrrrr

I had an entry and with one swift move of my finger aol said

OOOOOooooopppppppppppssss!

Be back tomorrow!

One Word Answers "S"

Yeah, so I used more than one word in some areas...........

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following...

They MUST be real places, names, things...

NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it.

You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Your Name: Sharon

Famous Music artist/group: Stones,

3 letter word: Sun, Sex

Color:  Sapphire

Gift/present:  Sailboat

Vehicle:  SUV

TV Show: Saturday Night Live

Country:   Switzerland

Boy's Name: Sean

Girl's Name: Shauna

Alcoholic drink: Seven N Seven

Occupation: Superintendant

Flower: Shasta Daisy

Celebrity:  Shania

Food:  Steak, Sausage, Salad

Reason for Being Late: Sleeping, slumming

Something You Shout:  Stupid!!