New Me!

Remember I said I had joined the YWCA.....well this morning I'm actually wearing the jeans that I couldn't get into on Saturday!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!!.  I've gotta drop this weight.  But I soooooooooooo love chocolate and pizza and pasta - hey, I'm married to an Italian, so I'm doomed there!!  I have a new hairdo as of yesterday also.   The weather is breaking around here...gonna be in the 70's near 80 this weekend....gettin springy I guess.....I HOPE!!!!

I visited with my mom last night.  My step-dad came in and began to ask me questions.  He is questioning my faith I suppose.  (Mind you I've been raised in a Christian home all my life - with it's usual ups and downs, alcoholic father etc)  It's a long story.  You see, I met my current husband while separated from my now dead ex (YAY!)....the ex was possessed...really possessed (the devil/evil kind of possessed) and totally not who I should have been with or would ever even consider being with then or now.  I was just plain stupid OK.  Anywho, my now husband, moved in with me and my then 16 month old daughter.  I was enamoured with this guy.  But being a good ole southern belle redneck I attended a Southern Baptist church.  Hubby is a retired NYC cop straight outta Brooklyn and Catholic to boot.  Boy was my mom (sunday school teacher) thrown.  So we did the alternating church thing...one week he'd go with me, next week I'd go to his church.  This was OK.  It was interesting to experience another church.  Made me look at the things that were so different in each faith and weigh the things that I knew and had been taught.  The preacher of my mom's church decided (with help from God of course) that he needed to "talk to me" about "my" situation.  This I learned from my Mom.   I nipped this in the bud and wrote him a letter saying "don't go behind my back-if you have a problem with me, come to me.  And by the way remove my name from the active role of the church."  So I didn't go back to this church.  I mean, how dare he "judge" me or anyone else.  As you can imagine, this put a riff in the family....they were uncomfortable, embarassed I guess, but too bad.  That was 1998.

So that brings me to my step-dad's questioning last night.....gee...8 years later.  He wanted to know if I'd like the preacher (same guy) and him to visit my home.  Of course I gave a stern NO....I don't need a preacher sitting on my doorstep.  Dont' get me wrong, I'm not an atheist.....I was baptized and I believe in God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit and the death and resurrection and I pray.  I should probably find a church that I am comfortable in at least for my 9 year old little girl's sake as well.  I know where my step-dad is coming from in his questioning.  They are loving parents and only want the best.  As parents we all do.  I just began to question the organized religion thing a bit...I'd been involved for most of my life....bible school, bible study, choir member, and even clerk and secretary.  But the politics involved.....the inner politics and bickering and OMG it just was wild.  Now I'd rather just sit back and not get involved that deep anymore.  I have a co-worker who is quite religious, not a freak about it or anything, but we have conversations often about our interpretations of the bible....kind of our own little bible school.

I guess I should tell my parents that I appreciate them.  Not just for last night but for everything.  They don't stick their nose in my business like a lot of parents, but I know that they are always around.