Thank you all for your comments last night and this morning regarind the DFH.......fill in the F for whatever you will.
Trouble with this guy is he goes off on a tangent......alcohol affects the brain and body functions. But he says "it's just as bad to be on a cell phone or eating ..." Yeah right! So there is no rationalizing with him at that moment. I will however print out or re-read the comments to him. I am all for "learning your lesson" - get caught now sucka and spend time in jail like you say you don't want to do....then HELLO! don't put yourself in the position. Ugh! Unfortunately pictures of events or stories about "other" people have no affect on alcoholics. Sometimes even destroying yourself (financially, mentally etc) or others (mangled, death) doesn't always make a difference for some. Yet each time he's been stopped for the DUI, he's nervous, scared he's going to jail.......not, "OMG, what was I thinking? I could have killed someone......".
The kicker is ........he IS and ex-cop! Go figure.
Last night Tom was so annoying to the girls, loud....aggravating. They don't understand. I do....I know the alk affects your whole demeanor. Gives you the superman (woman) syndrome; invincible; untouchable; funny (not); you think people are hard of hearing so you speak loudly. I for one was glad when he went to bed. It so frustrates me when he won't listen to reason, then I have to remind myself HE CAN'T. And no, AA won't work for him, because he won't allow it to. Been there, done that. Been twice to "drunk school" to get the license back in the 9+ years I've known him. Oh well..........enough of that!
Anyway, the girls are up and in the pool early. I've made them come out because, well DUH, it is hotter than h-e-l-l and I don't need them getting sick! They need showers and lunch and Savanna's Mom will come up here to pick her up. This kid has been an awesome guest. She is a good kid. We met her early last dance season, her Mom is a single mom and thank goodness has a decent ex where the kid is concerned.
Lemme say that there is such a GREAT difference in this kid and the other friends Tara has had over.....my house is NOT trashed! Not one bit. She asks before she does anything or eats anything which is a good trait. But when you are a guest at my house, you are welcomed to 75% of everything....just stay outta my bed/bathroom and living room and don't touch my piano or the drums. You can eat/drink anything you find except for my SUNDROP.....u toucha that and I breaka u fingas!
I will have the joy of hanging out with my nephew tonight. His Mom is in a wedding and I'm going over to his house about 4:30pm.....best be taking me a good book. Speaking of books, I'm becoming addicted to SUDOKU.......it's quite challenging, not to mention aggravating!
Guess I'll save laundry and ironing till Sunday. Tom did a real good job cleaning up the house this week while Tara was at dance camp. Let's see how long it lasts LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14 comments:
I feel bad for you all...and especially the kids. I can't imagine growing up with that in my house. Have you read the book "A Million little Pieces?"
enjoy your weekend:)
Deb
Glad you had a nice guest this time and glad Tom didn't end up going out last night! Enjoy the rest of the weekend! Martha :-)
Hi, I just came across your journal, I hope you dont mind if I stay and read a while. Sorry to hear about the episode with your DH, you are right, some just dont understand it. My father is an alcoholic and though he has his good times he has many many more aggrivating moments.
Feel free to stop by and visit me..
my name is john i'm an alcoholic , was arested for a dui in 1989, was arrested for hit and run in 2002 but got it squashed to an attempt to leave the scene , did those classes , the thing is if you enjoy drinking you'll never stop , last year me and my deb stayed at home now , because My health is not so good and I don't want to kill anybody on the way home ! I can drink till I drop and sleep where I Lie!
My suggestion is have him get a ride to and from the bar and when that gets old maybe he'll stay home!
Take the sun drop put it in the ice cube tray and you'll have frozen ice cubes for your sun drop!
i think i'll try to find some of that and get sundrop vodks slushies !
Have a great weekend!
I know I made an entry last night about this, but I know by experience alcoholism kills. You see last year Sept 4th, 2005, my father was drinking. He drinks from 8:am til he passes out about 9:pm. Well at around 4:pm that day on Sept 4th, he was drunk, got into his boat and paddled out onto the creek, which is about 55 feet deep in center. He apparently lost his balance and fell overboard. He was found floating in the creek face down by an 8yr old little boy. He ran to get his father. The father went to see, and pulled my Dad out of the water, tried CPR while waiting for ambulance. It was too late. Had my Dad been sober, he would of never went out in the boat without someone being with him. My Dad did not know how to swim. Now he leaves behind 7 children, 16 grandchildren, and 5 great grandchildren. Alcohol just does'nt hurt the one who is drinking it, it also hurts the ones who have to deal with it, like family and friends. My brother Eddie did 14 yrs in prison and that was for getting behind the wheel of a car he stole while drunk and hitting an 81yr old woman who he put in a comma for 4 months and she finally passed away never waking up. Imagine how her family felt. They never got to say goodbye. I never got to say goodbye to my Dad. I always wonder what was his last thought before he took that final breath of air. And to the people who make and distribute these alcohol products that cause all the DUI's and accidents and death's, I say to these makers, SCREW YOU!!!!!!! for making and selling such an evil product.
Cindy
I feel for ya! Must really be something to love someone through all of that. You have my respect for doing so. Reminds me of when I was a kid, and my BF SD was, to put it bluntly, a drunk. We used to peek out the windows to see if he was staggering in or not, to tell if he was drunk, and then govern ourselves accordingly. It was pretty crazy.... Good luck, and have a good weekend!
I hope he decides to do something about this situation before he hurts himself, or someone else. It's all to common.
hugs,
Ellen
Now that sounds nice to snuggle up with a good book and get some time with the nephew and away from the house and to have Tom do most of the cleaning!! Now we just need a good movie to come on the tube tomorrow when you are ironing so it goes faster and funner. Hugs and have a great week ahead!
Lisa
I lived with a drunk mom from 7 until 11. Then my dad took me, drunk daily, from 11 till 19.
They ruined my childhood. Then i married Rick and if i told the truth to what his drunk ass has put me thru no one would believe it. He got an ultimatium in Feb...you drink, you move out. So far no booze but he traded that for some other shit even worse.
Sigh.
I dream about your pool. i want to come over damnit.
love,
lisa
I hear ya....my ex was an alcoholic. Definitely the whole demeanor changes, and it ain't pretty. There was a guy at work who was an alcoholic and would come to work half looped. I could always tell immediately because I had lived with it so long. No one believed me when I said that was the reason he was so nasty until they could actually smell the booze on him. LOL...I wish my kids had friends like Savanna when they were young. Their friends were like good old Taz. At least Tom cleaned. HUGS Chris
it sucks living with a drunk. I think it's interesting how you said Tom used to be on drugs but he got off that. most people who were addicted to drugs shouldn't be drinking, either, but I am sure you know that. I know what you mean about how "alcoholics get." I hate being around drunk people, after living with it all my life I just can't tolerate it anymore!!
I hope something happens soon that will change DHs thinking, it must be hard living with a difficult guy like him. My ex was a drunk, but I was too so there wasnt much I could say. When I think about being in that situation now, I know I could never do it.
Good luck...God Bless.
HUGS
Melissa
Living with an alcholic must be so hard and very draining. Happy he didn't go out that night. To bad he won't let AA work for him. That sucks. Sounds like you had a great time. Savanna sounds like a great kid and a good friend for your daughter.
Just catching up with you..so many thoughts here. Good luck...keep working on him because it's what you say the next day that will really stick...try to be patient your effort will be rewarded over the long haul.... on the Sudoku...it is really addicting..I had to put it down for awhile..I would get so mad when I missed something and would have to erase the whole thing and start over...I always use pencil...but it sure makes you think in a more logical way...at least it did me....but I found that if I went to fast that was a mistake....patience...patience...:)
AOL is acting up tonight....
Maria
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