Lexophile Friday

For all the Lexophile's (Lover's of Words) out there:

 

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

 

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

 

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

 

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

 

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

 

6. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

 

7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 

8. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

 

9. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

 

10. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

11. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

 

12. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

 

13. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

 

14. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

 

15. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 

16. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

 

17. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

18. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

 

19. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

 

20. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 

21. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

 

22. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

 

Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced!