Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Tuesday Toons

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My family never ceases to amaze me, especially the men.  Remember I am married to a yankee transplant, so the communication between us is comical at best. 

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Tom thinks that this (3) is "tree"......

He takes care of thins....instead of things.

I haven't figured out where "oava heee" is....and he can't find "yonder".

circlingeyes_e0.gif  He calls me via cell phone last week to say he's having troubles with Miss T's homework.  I say "fax it to me"...he keeps rambling on about how he doesn't know possessive singular crap....I say "fax it to me"....and he can't understand what the teacher is looking for....I say "fax it to me"...and then he says .....but I interrupt him to say "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME"?

"What'd you say"?  I said "I said fax it to me".....

(he says) "What?  You want a fat zucchini?  What's that got to do with .............."  I didn't hear the rest because my head fell onto my desk and my coworker came to my office to make sure I was ok.............

I just handed her the phone, tears running down my face with laughter........my back began to hurt and I could not breathe.

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I think I got the fax eventually, but never the fat zucchini.

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So my mom calls me to tell me what happened to them Sunday while driving around Wrightsville Beach.  Seems they were doing "routine traffic" stops for license checks.  Now, my stepDad had left his wallet in his truck and was driving Mom's car and told her this:  "what am I going to do?  Should we switch places?" 

Mom said of course not.  So they pulled up and the cop said "just a routine license check, can I see yours?" 

Pointing to my Mother in the passenger seat and without missing a beat, my stepDad said "I don't have my license, I'm riding with her". 

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I am not kidding!  This must have stumped the cop good cause he just waved them on............

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BUT, while I'm picking on pop, might as well tell you what he did at the farm last week.

We have 24 acres......farm equipment, goats, donkeys etc, and when stepDad is out there, he doesn't bother to run back to the proper facility to relieve himself of his liquids....he just finds a bush.  th_pee.gif

He was driving his truck through the field and realized he had to pee......

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He stopped the truck, got out and began "watering the plants".  He looked back and.........

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          (are you ready?)

..........his truck was leaving him!  He had forgotten to put it in park and it was driving away.........he had to chase it down!  Thank GOD he caught it before it ran into the ditch or my house or my pool or worse!

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Hey thanks for listening!

23 comments:

allisonm96 said...

Never a dull moment around there huh?  lol....

madcobug said...

This entry is so funny. It made me giggle. Thanks for the fun entry. LOL Helen

emabecmar said...

ok you need to video tape this stuff happening and send it to America's Funnist Home Video's, cause you would definately win the 100,000 prize. I loved this entry it was so funny. ((((((hugs))))))
Cindy

deshelestraci said...

I hope he had his pants up before he had to run!  Funny!
Traci

garnett109 said...

I'm freakin' dying here love to live wit u guys a week ! in the military 1 is pronounced wun ,3 is pronounced tree, 5 is fife, 9 is niner ! funny stuff live up here and acuple too tree beers u need to listen to us coal cracker lol!

rbrown6172 said...

pretty funny entry.  :)
gina

mumma4evr said...

what part of Yankee land does hubby come from??  because things is things..and 3 is three.........
hmmm
Becky

chat2missie said...

Your entry had me laughing!!  The zucchini part expecially.  That's a man for ya!  Have a good night.
Missie

jckfrstross said...

LOL too funny

Deb

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((TIEPZ4ME))))))))))))))))))))That is to funny,but I am glad your stepdad was ok.lol.And your house,the pool ect.lol.I think I needed that laugh,feeling kinda blue tonight.Have a nice night.

eml625 said...

Hey, what's wrong with my accent??? Fuggetaboutit !!!!!

hugs,
ME THE NEW YORKER !

dbaumgartner said...

LOL, now that's just too funny.  :-)

Deb

newsworthy822 said...

you are so funny.  It's too hilarious how men just DO NOT LISTEN.  Loved the story about your dad "watering the plants."  Hailey's homework poses probs for me, too.  Last night we were doing math, something about plotting graphs with the mean & stuff...I was completely clueless.  I told her "bear with me, I haven't done this in 20 yrs."  I was also thinking, "you probably won't use it again, either," but I wasn't about to tell her that!!

Hope you have a fantastic HUMP day.

HUGS
Melissa

queeniemart said...

You need your own stand up comedy act.
Love,lisa

rayne1123 said...

lol...your life is full of excitment isnt it!!
noelle

daniella12800 said...

OMG!!! THank you thank you!!! I needed your journal entry today!!!  I am still laughing!!!  Look us New Yorkers..don't know all of our "r"s k!!LOL!!!  

Happy your step dad is ok and likewise with your house and pool!! :0)

Daniella

randlprysock said...

You have definitely made me smile tonight Sharon!!!  We'll have to try that cop thing sometime.  Hugs,
Lisa : )

xxroxymamaxx said...

Oh my gosh, you crack me up! lol  Hugs and GBU, Shelly

lifes2odd said...

OMG! You guys are all too funny!! Hope your week went well and have a great weekend! Martha :-)

cacklinrosie101 said...

ROFL...just what I needed today.  And I think the people in my life are crazy.  No wonder you have such a sense of humor.  Have a good one!  HUGS  Chris

imgr8phil said...

This is pretty hilarious.  This brightens up my day already LOL.  Have a good hump day and make a new entry!

Phil

trickeytricky said...

Oops.

Next time I pee outside of the car I will be sure to put it in park first so that doesn't happen to me. LOL.

Take care,

Amanda :)
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin

mosie1944 said...

I sometimes find a convenient wooded area to "squat" in when I'm out riding my horse.  Gee, I hope my horse never runs away from me!