Wednesday, November 1, 2006

21 Rules of Halloween - too late??

I hope this is not to late in hopes to save anyone any troubles........

The 21 Rules Of Halloween!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language
which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take
several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to
kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go
alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would
apply to any other house of the dead as well.


8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and
find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for
short circuits; just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down
at least twice, more if you are a blonde female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Ogden(you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere  where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Mass.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go
to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws,
staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines,
lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any
devices made from deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that
had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise  in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And should carry a flashlight, not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this
regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the North Carolina countryside. They  live downtown.

11 comments:

garnett109 said...

Alway's drink Jim Beam it quites the spirits!

queeniemart said...

very informative and cute.
Love,lj

randlprysock said...

Hope ya had a wonderful Halloween!!!!  Hugs!!  
Lisa

deshelestraci said...

Love these!
Traci

chat2missie said...

I'm reading these a little late, but still cute.
Missie

alphamoon65 said...

Lmao....now only if you could get the movie writers to follow some of those rules...we could stop watching the same horror flics over and over.  lol hugs,
Dwana

trickeytricky said...

It is never too late. :-P

Amanda :)
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/dearamanda

xxroxymamaxx said...

All very good advice! lol  : )  Hugs and GBU, Shelly

imgr8phil said...

So very true, all of those rule LOL.  Hope you have a nice Friday and weekend.  Take care.

Phil

queenb8261 said...

LOL I love these.  Very good.
Barb  

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((TIPEZ4ME)))))))))))))))))))Thats funny.Thanks for sharing.