For all the Lexophile's (Lover's of Words) out there:
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
8. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
9. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
10. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
11. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
12. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
13. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
14. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
15. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
16. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
17. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
18. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
19. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
20. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
21. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
22. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced!