Saturday, January 6, 2007

The Unknown..........

This is what has always haunted me.  I have that fear of the Unknown, the What-If's.....afraid to take a chance most of the time.

Yes, me.

Only this past trip to Florida was different somehow.  I guess it is because I am becoming familiar with the area that we visit.  Probably because I trust Tom to be understanding when my anxiety attacks "attack" and I find myself needing to be "away" from a situation. 

I found myself in that position the night we arrived at my FIL's.  The house was full, there was lots of noise, lots of people in a 2br home.  I was wired from driving.  I immediately found myself wanting to be home in my own environment.

Then I says to self   "Self! Snap out of it".

How can I expect Tara to overcome if I can't?  So she has been a Godsend to me because she makes me face the "unknowns" of my life.

Miss T was quite funny at Universal wanting me to ride a "baby" ride, explaining how it wouldn't hurt me etc.  LOL....she was sounding just like me.

Scarey.

My DH would LOVE to move to Florida.  I find myself thinking of it often.  I like the West Coast area and seeing Shelly, Martha & Angie's pictures have just made me kick myself for not going there and taking an extra day.  We could have cruised the areas from NPRichey to Nokomis and the Bay.  I like the Bay.

I don't want to be alone.  No I don't mean totally alone....I mean, no family, no friends, that kind of alone.  Then there's Miss T....school, dance.  I couldn't just pick up and go.  Lisa just did that from Fl to Ky....brave soul.

When we got back to NC, I called up my friend Sha to meet us for lunch.  She dropped a bomb on me............her apartment complex gave her 30 day notice and she is moving........to FLORIDA.  Somewhere in the Bay area probably, she's not sure yet.  Just her, no one else.  She wrote her family off (long story of abuse etc), her boyfriend is now the X (wouldn't commit), and so why not?  This is the scarey part, I had told her that I would follow her....she just needed to go and scope out the areas for us and let me know where and what was best.

She reminded me of this last week ....... Tom was elated to think I'd actually consider a move.

But...........

I'm a chicken!

It's the unknown.

And leaving my family.......

...........so far away.

Yet when I look around me, I don't see "fun" anymore.  Local politics are a sham, taxes are nuts, I get bored with my everyday hum drum, go to work, come home.....where's the fun time?

It's a chore just to get over to the beach to have any "fun".  And even though my parents have a VACANT house over there, have we been lately?  Nooooo. 

Dance competitions will start in February, there's some "fun". 

Wow, I'm boring!

What if...................

22 comments:

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))You are not boring,you just have ao much to do,I know how you feel about change.It scares me to.I hope and pray things work out for you.Have a nice week.

imgr8phil said...

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.  FDR said that once and it is true.  Follow your gut.  Don't get caught stagnating because it is the comfortable thing to do.  If you think there is a possibility that a move would do you good than seriously consider it.  Take care and have a good weekend.

Phil

jckfrstross said...

good luck:) if you don't take the plunge you will never know. have a good sunday

Deb

queenb8261 said...

Thank God retirement is just years away for us.  We have NEVER been able to just pick up and do the What IFs. If the opportunity presented itself...could you do it? Would you? We had ONE chance when were very young and only had one child to pick up and move to AUSTRALIA.  Did we do it? NO. Do we regret it? YES. So now of our 4 parents we have 1 left.  Almost all our older relatives are gone.  Are we ready to hit the road now? You bet .  Let's just hope we have our health holds out.  LOL The "New Year" always makes people think about change.  Put it in God's hands.  Hugs, Barb  

quiltsnroses said...

You are not alone in the "fear of the unknown".  When my hubby was in the Navy, it was easy to move.  They would come and pack us all up and tell us what hotels to stay in until we got settled and, of course, my hubby always had a job waiting.  Now I think about moving away from San Diego because it is getting so crowded and so expensive, and it is nice to think about somewhere new when things get humdrum and I get spring fever real bad.  But when it comes right down to it . . . . . Give it a little time and see if your desire for a new place is a fleeting thing.    

mpnaz58 said...

If not now, when?  Time is ticking, and you don't know what tomorrow holds.  Do it.  If you don't, you'd never know the what ifs.  Take a risk, a chance!
xoxo ~myra

lifes2odd said...

Change is fun! Come on down! What do you mean no friends? We're waiting for you with open arms!! Hugs, Martha :-)

mumma4evr said...

they say change does a body good...oh, never mind, that is milk!
Go ahead!!  do it!
Becky

queeniemart said...

i think in your heart, you are half way packed. GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!   Someone or something is trying to tell you its time for a new life...i wish you the best.
love you,
lisa jo

eml625 said...

It's funny, here in NY everyone is moving down to NC- remember my SIL is in Wilmington now....and you want to leave and go to FLA ....
I suppose change is good. It scares me too. My SIL moved there and only knew  her mother (and they dont get along half the time)
Follow your heart
hugs,
Ellen

bobbysgirl8584 said...

Change is a good thing and maybe that is what you need right now. Good Luck with your decision; I am sure you will make the right one.
Maria

ukgal36 said...

Well there's always me here.... ;-)
Lyn

garnett109 said...

To many hurricanes for me I'll stay in Pa And deal with the flooding LOL!

springangel235 said...

Wishing you well, no matter where you decide home is...hugs and love,
Joyce

barebytes said...

Change? every day we wake to change for it is a new day. THAT will never change hahaha But if you choose to move, then do so only when it's what you want to do. For if you are moving for anything other than what is your choice, you will find regrets everywhere you look. Hugs Lanny

chat2missie said...

I'm ready for a change.  
Missie

angcrewswife said...

Good Luck with competition!

rayne1123 said...

good luck/.  i hate the unlnown also.  i am a worry wart
noelle

deshelestraci said...

As someone who has moved a lot, it is hard.  The hardest for me is being so far from my children's grandparents.  I grew up far away from my grandparents and it just plain sucks.  If you have a good relationship with your family it pays so stay close.  It's also hard creating a new base of friends.  It sounds like that wouldn't be too much of a problem though.  Just my 2 cents.
Traci

ksgal3133 said...

Moving is hard but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.
Prayers for you!

Gretchen
http://journals.aol.com/ksgal3133/LivinginSavannah2

xxroxymamaxx said...

Don't worry, I'm a chicken too. lol  Love ya, Shelly

cacklinrosie101 said...

Hi there girlie girl!  Ya know the grass always looks greener on the other side but you would have to work in Fla., clean the house...all the hum drum things that you do now.  Vacations always make other places seem so great but there's more to "home" than just the area.  It's hard to pick up and leave your family behind.  I always thought I would do it but never have.  Hit that beach house this summer.  Life is just blah now.  HUGS Chris