This is what has always haunted me. I have that fear of the Unknown, the What-If's.....afraid to take a chance most of the time.
Only this past trip to Florida was different somehow. I guess it is because I am becoming familiar with the area that we visit. Probably because I trust Tom to be understanding when my anxiety attacks "attack" and I find myself needing to be "away" from a situation.
I found myself in that position the night we arrived at my FIL's. The house was full, there was lots of noise, lots of people in a 2br home. I was wired from driving. I immediately found myself wanting to be home in my own environment.
Then I says to self "Self! Snap out of it".
How can I expect Tara to overcome if I can't? So she has been a Godsend to me because she makes me face the "unknowns" of my life.
Miss T was quite funny at Universal wanting me to ride a "baby" ride, explaining how it wouldn't hurt me etc. LOL....she was sounding just like me.
My DH would LOVE to move to Florida. I find myself thinking of it often. I like the West Coast area and seeing Shelly, Martha & Angie's pictures have just made me kick myself for not going there and taking an extra day. We could have cruised the areas from NPRichey to Nokomis and the Bay. I like the Bay.
I don't want to be alone. No I don't mean totally alone....I mean, no family, no friends, that kind of alone. Then there's Miss T....school, dance. I couldn't just pick up and go. Lisa just did that from Fl to Ky....brave soul.
When we got back to NC, I called up my friend Sha to meet us for lunch. She dropped a bomb on me............her apartment complex gave her 30 day notice and she is moving........to FLORIDA. Somewhere in the Bay area probably, she's not sure yet. Just her, no one else. She wrote her family off (long story of abuse etc), her boyfriend is now the X (wouldn't commit), and so why not? This is the scarey part, I had told her that I would follow her....she just needed to go and scope out the areas for us and let me know where and what was best.
She reminded me of this last week ....... Tom was elated to think I'd actually consider a move.
I'm a chicken!
It's the unknown.
And leaving my family.......
...........so far away.
Yet when I look around me, I don't see "fun" anymore. Local politics are a sham, taxes are nuts, I get bored with my everyday hum drum, go to work, come home.....where's the fun time?
It's a chore just to get over to the beach to have any "fun". And even though my parents have a VACANT house over there, have we been lately? Nooooo.
Dance competitions will start in February, there's some "fun".
Wow, I'm boring!