Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Saved $3,000 - maybe

......by attorney shopping.

I went online and found an attorney up there and Tom faxed him the info on the case and this guy wanted $5000!!!


So Tom spent today letting his fingers do the walking and came upon another attorney who he really liked when he talked to him.

Said "$2,000 and see you on May 2nd" - the date for the Probable Cause Hearing.  The attorney was surprised at the charges (habitual and felony) when clearly Tom did not have 3 prior DUI's....just one back in 2003.

I'm guessing the $3,000 savings will be eat up by gas and fines getting to and from Elizabeth City for this mess.

Nevertheless ........ this guy made Tom feel better about going to court.

I gotta say, last night Mr Man was a sad sack.  Reality sinking in to him......saying "I have to accept whatever happens".

True, so true. 

He's also saying that he'll probably never see his Dad again -- that's because he knows he's disappointed the family by his actions.  Of course Tom is just spouting off the "poor me's".

His Dad cancelled the family cruise.  After talking to me on Wednesday afternoon, I can just imagine him throwing his hands up, with a F*&^ it all attitude.  Now Tom is of course feeling bad about that.

Oh well, his Dad didn't have to cancel - that was his own doing.  Luckily we can get our deposit back. 

Now I'm the only thing Tom has left in this world........ sigh.

Isn't that just like a "poor me" mentality.

I know that Tom was thinking innocently that night......a couple of beer with a burger; he left out the part about the shots of vodka.  He would have never messed up meeting his old friend for anything.

Yet, that's what alcohol does to the brain.  It tells the rest of your body that you are invincible; like superman; it throws out all rationale.

I'll give Tom credit....last week he actually stopped in at a local AA place to get a list of meetings and places.  He was considering it and that means a lot!!

Moving forward.......bit by bit.


garnett109 said...

hope everything goes well for him.

randlprysock said...

<<Sharon!!>>>  Prayers and hugs!!

mariebm56 said...

Considering AA  & going to AA are 2 different things....
Been there~

madcobug said...

I hope he follows through on going to those AA meetings. They would help him a lot. This last  thing he did is costing him in $$$ and family life. Helen

chat2missie said...

Maybe if he spends some time in jail, he'll get the message????  Sending you and Miss T some hugs.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU()))))))))))))))))My thoughtd and prayers are with you.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU()))))))))))))))))My thoughtd and prayers are with you.

cacklinrosie101 said...

Sharon, me thinks you would benefit greatly from attending AlAnon even if Tom goes to AA or not.  It helped me tremendously.  Sending you huge hugs, Chris

lifes2odd said...

I agree with Chris. If you are planning to try to stick by your husband through all of this you have got to get yourself to the Alanon meetings and fast!

imgr8phil said...

Tom is destined to destroy more lives if he doesn't get off of the booze.  He is an alcoholic first class and I hope he doesn't end up ruining your life and your daughter's life in the process.  Take care.


queeniemart said...

Alanon can be a lifesaver for the spouse of an alcoholic. If i was near you, i'd go with you. Remember, i love you.  :)

cuteallison1980 said...

I don't think I go go through what you are going through.  I know if my husband kept on self destructiong and putting lives in peril and affecting the people he supposedly loves in the fashion he has he would have an ultimatem from me.  I know it is hard on you.  I just hope that things won't go from bad to worse.  Try to have a happy tomorrow if you can.  Luv ya!


eml625 said...

I'm here if you need. I know how hard this is on YOU .
Love ya

jillannemarie said...

I grew up in an alcoholic home and I live with an alcoholic.  LOL and I always told myself I would never live with someone like my father.  Ahh, karma has a way of kicking me in the azz.

Anyway, I agree with the others.  Al-anon would be helpful for you.  They also have groups for children of alcoholics.  It would be a place where Miss T would feel safe to talk about her feelings and get some support.  I really hope you look into it.

I know, it sucks...he is the one with the problem and you're being told to go to meetings.  But this isn't only his problem...you and Miss-T are living through this and having your lives affected by it too.  

I'm thinking of you and praying for ya'll.
Jill Marie

sunnybethe said...

UGH, what a hassle.  I sure hopw the Judge sees its not habitual, for your sake.  But this is may be the slap on the wrist ron needs.  Hugs hunnie,  Bethe

rgossett4195 said...

I got sober over 20 years ago, and I sadly had some mishaps with driving and drinking.  AA will help Tom and it will help with his sentencing.  Tell him to go...NOW!  xoxo rose