Monday, September 18, 2006

I shoulda been a detective!

If you would like to know the answer to the last entry, just re-read it again.  But take out the impounding of vehicle and smashing of glass and all.  That was the worst case scenario.

About 7:30-45am I hear the truck, then the back door.  Wide eyed like he's had sleep and says "I'm sorry, I was drunk as hell and I wouldn't drive".  (Didn't know Hell was Drunk)  I said "yeah, right".  He changed into sleepwear (shorts) and wanted to crawl in bed and I said OH NO....out.  I guess he went into the den where he always goes.

Then he's up in about an hour for a shower and off to the Doctor visit.


From the looks of the internet list of transactions, he hit the bank 4 times.  By the time the bank finishes with the NSF fees, I'm figuring it will be close to $300 in the hole.  Gee thanks a lot.

Of course once I get home, there's no conversation about this, no why's, or what's.  What he doesn't know (but I'm sure he's expecting) is that his times are about to get tough.  I've already confiscated the ATM card.  Oh the joys of babysitting a grown man.


On a lighter note, Miss T spent today with my Mom and my nephew...they went to a local jungle gym place with lots of over head climb in things and plastic ball areas.  Had a blast.  Miss T of course never wants to come home when she's with Gramma.

I hurt my eye this morning while washing my face.....stuck my finger right in it and scratched the inside of the lid.  Been bothering me all day.  Plus my eyes are very tired from lack of sufficient sleep.  (No tears.....beyond that a long time ago.) 


Thinking back to what may have started Tom's demise this time.....his Dad always seems to be at the "favorite" son's home around the time of this brother's birthday.  This year was no exception and when Tom talked to his Dad it was "oh we did this and that and more of this and plenty more of that, the new house is beautiful......" 

I could see the expression all over Tom's face when he hung up, and he wouldn't talk much about it.  He's been in this funk every since then, sometimes climbing out of it, but I see him slip back in.  When I ask "what?" the answer is always "nothing".

He says he spent the night at a friends house....but this friend is known for having "fun" too.   I don't understand.....why "escape" only to return to a worse feeling for doing whatever it was you did??? 

I'm ready to run away...................


deshelestraci said...

I'm sorry you are having to put up with this.  Sounds very sad.  Glad he wasn't arrested and the car impounded.  But still not a good situation.  

mpnaz58 said...

What I don't understand is why the ATM keeps giving him money, when he doesn't have any??  I want to bank there!!  Tom needs to understand that no matter how hard he seeks his dad's approval, he will NEVER get it.  Hard, so very hard to do, especially as an adult.  It has taken me 48 years of no approval from my mom to realize that spinning my wheels only makes ME miserable...she could care less!!  Tough situation to be in for him...but mostly for you and Miss T.  Take care...
xoxo ~Myra

emabecmar said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I went through it with my Dad. He was a single parent and an alcoholic. He spent all our money on alcohol and his friends. When I was 15 I went to work just to be able to buy food and clothes for my 5 brothers and sisters. Some months I even paid the rent and light bill. I hope and pray things get better for you and your family. (((((hugs)))))))

ajoleblon said...

I'm sorry about your troubles.  I understand because my second husband was an alcoholic and a gambler.  Lost everything with his sickness.  It's not an easy situation but keep your head up...and I pray things get better for you!


am4039 said...

I'm so sorry, maybe you should get a divorce or go to counseling with or without him. You don't need all this trouble. I'm so sorry for you. Hugs to you.

cacklinrosie101 said...

Aw, Sharon, been there; done that for way too long.  That's why my ex is my ex.  There is no helping them if they don't want it.  I finally just lost the love and got tired of having a 4th kid who behaved far worse than my other 3.  Hope Tom wises up.  HUGS  Chris

robinngabster said...

Why does the bank continue to give him money if there isnt any?

mumma4evr said...


queenb8261 said...

The upshod is he made it home safely. My father couldn't take care of himself very well (an alcoholic). Mom managed their money and squirrelled away every penny she could so he couldn't spend it all (No atm's back then). Mom got sick.  Mom couldn't take care of herself AND him.  She nearly died one night because he was too drunk to help her. He quit drinking.  He seemed to grow up overnight. He took care of her for 2 yrs till she died.  Then lived with the guilt of what he put his family through for the next 15 yrs.  Never did take up drinking again.  I pray it doesn't take a tragedy to open Tom's eyes. Take care girl.  You sound like a strong savvy woman.  Hope things turn around quickly.
Hugs, Barb

eml625 said...

I know what your going thru. Been there. Sorry you had a rough night...and still going to have to deal with it.

garnett109 said...

I pay my bills then the rest goes to debbie, unless my kid needs a helping hand with something,but other than that it's debbie's! We use to go out now we stay home !
I've been in a funk for seven years due to being disabled, i'm in a mans body that wants to but can't! It is physical and emotionally painful for me to watch the world go by! the booze helps the emotional part and sometimes the pain! there are days that I beg to god take me, but he ain't ready for this hell raiser!

chat2missie said...

I feel bad becuse I want to be able to give you words to make you feel better, or advice on how to handle your husband but I can't.  I can only offer my ear for you to talk to and me listen.  I wouldn't know where to begin since I've never been in this type of situation.  Just know that I'm here and if you ever need to really talk, just email me.  I'll give you my phone #.  I hope you have a good day!

randlprysock said...

Oh I am so sorry.  I would be angry.  You are taking this so calmly.  If this were my entry it would have been pounded out in caps.  Hugs,

queeniemart said...

i went to bed at noon on Monday.....and i thought of you for a long long time as i laid there.....i woke up thinking about you.
As for what he just put you thru--been there done that and i will go thru it again too.
You deserve so much better. You are in all my prayers.
love,lisa jo

allisonm96 said...

I wont pretend to know hwat you are going through with this. You are a stronger woman that I am. I am thinking about you, and praying that things will be okay. Take care of yourself!

debbiewebb4465 said...

((((Sharon)))) so sorry....hope things get better for you, you are such a lovely lady. I hope Tom realises what he's got, and soon, before it's too late. Over here our banks wouldn't let him keep withdrawing money. If it's not there, you can't have it. Thinking of you.
HUGS Debbie ~xxxxxxx~

canyonsun04 said...

Sharon, I know what you mean, although my husband isn't like that, I know what bank fees, late fees, bounced checks ontop of no money is like. <sigh> if you run away, will you take me with you??? I"m fun :)
Be careful with your eye next time to will ya!
Hang in there I do know it's rough, I really do .

eternallife23 said...

You are a strong woman. I am praying for you.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((((((TPiEZ)))))))))))))))))I am sorry you have to go through all this,I am praying for you.Have a good week.

penniepooh said...

Gosh, Sharon... I`m sorry you`re going through this and your husband, too.

daniella12800 said...

It's so weird because it is like one sentence you ask why but the next you know why!  I can't say it's men but "people" shut down give up.  You pinned pointed it, I wonder if it has always been that way with his dad.  Maybe he should see a counsler jsut to get out of this little rut  he is in.  But I know telling a man he needs help is impossible!  I have been trying for months with Kevin and things just are not getting any better.  It is like he says the words to get us through another day and then boom a temper and issues!

I am praying fo ryou!