Sunday, July 29, 2007

What goes around.........

 Stealing this verse from Shelly:

James 1:13-18

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

 

This is going full circle.  How is it that these things "pop" up in your life to make you think?

Dare I say that this is what is happening in the home of Coastal Comfort?  Tom: evil desire, dragged away and enticed.

This home is not a happy home.  I am unhappy; Tom is unhappy.  You all know why I am.........Mr Man is another thing.  What goes on inside that head?  (He did not go with me to Myrtle)

He's retired; nothing to do but be a "Mr Mom" while I work.  And normally he's good at that.  I can understand his boredom and his need to be out there....but how many times have we all said "Go! Get out there and find something to do!!!" 

Volunteer......schools are always looking for someone.
Hang out with my step-Dad.....he's always got something going.

He has a hobby:  watching old war movies or the History channel.  He is living in that past world instead of "back to the future".  Before long he is going to be an old geezer.

His drinking really annoys me because now he cannot consume as much as he used to; therefore, he is "different" after only 1 or 2.  He does not realize this thus sometimes "over indulging" and becoming obnoxious.

Like yesterday afternoon.  2 beers and a shot of vodka.  He was wobbling and loud and playing his music loud all while cooking a pot of sauce or "gravy" (E).  The eyes glazing, droopy and of course the "there's nothing wrong with me" attitude.

He flat out told the Roomie this past week that he will NOT go to counseling ever again and he will NOT attend any meetings.  Remember he had promised these things back in April.

This, my dear Lanny - I love you bunches, is why I have reservations about the cruise.  Yes, it's booked, $100 per traveler and I have till April to pay it in full.  I don't want to drop any money into something that I may not be a part of.  I've told Tom that this is why I don't want to go...he can go alone.  It's his Father.  Yes, it's "my" family too but I don't really feel like being a part of the clan anymore.

Divorce?   Geeesh....

Alone again?  Naturally.

Alone....that is what this marriage is. 
Roommates who just happen to be legally bound by a piece of paper.

Thank GOD for Miss T! and my family and J-land.

My thoughts??????  Hopefully get things together and get this dance wear venture off and running.  I need to win the lottery!!  I need to get off my butt and get some things in gear.  I could do most of the legal papers myself.  What am I waiting for?

The store could actually secure my future....pad my pockets.

I could ask my parents but I said 10 yrs ago I would NEVER ask them for anything again.

I need to call in a favor from a certain friend in high places....need a grant ASAP!

Trust me, I don't like feeling this way....I like to be happy.  But right now I am depressed....not a good sign! 

Curves.........I'm signing up this week!  Time for ME!

13 comments:

ab45yui said...

I am so sorry you are going thru this situation.  As I was reading, I thought of my mother and what she has put up with all these years with my father.  He is an alcoholic.  I also thought of my marriage, and while my husband does not drink he engages in behaviors that have left me feeling very depressed and unhappy.  I enable, as my mother has done with her husband.  I think I've taken step 1 in a long line of steps to finding myself and being happy again.  I hope you will too.  God bless!  Curves is a great idea!

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))I am sorry your going through a rough time.I hope and pray things get better.

lifes2odd said...

Sharon, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all this. Do what you have to do - you deserve happiness. Hugs, Martha

deshelestraci said...

Grants aren't a bad idea.  If you are over 40 there are more of them out there for small business owners.
Divorce isn't a bad idea either.  I hate to see you go through that but it does beat putting yourself and Miss T through the wringer with Mr. Man.
thinking of you,
Traci

queeniemart said...

i am praying for you......i am so very sorry.
XO lj

ktkamanski said...

Keep your thoughts POSITIVE as well as your actions!!! I remember hearing someone say one time (and this is just something to think about from time to time) Would you rather be healthy and alone or sick and with someone? Sometimes "ME time" is what it will take to see what it is you really want! My thoughts for only good things along with my prayers are with you! Hope your week ahead brings you smiles!
Katie
http://journals.aol.com/ktkamanski/HappyBeingMe/

eml625 said...

I'm going to e-mail you
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

E.

jckfrstross said...

i am so sorry:(

Deb

mpnaz58 said...

You are usually so upbeat, even when Tom is acting up.  This entry is different, like you've resigned yourself to a change.  Change is on the horizon for you, and that can be good.
xoxo ~Myra

randlprysock said...

Prayers for you and I do totally understand why you stick by your man... and good for you for going on with the dreams and hopes in your life.  I know your venture will be a huge success!!!  I would call in that favor!  If we'd had some start up cash behind us things would have been so much easier in past years.  If you can cash in, cash in that chip and play to win hard.  Hugs,
Lisa  

imgr8phil said...

I feel for you and I hope things will work themselves out in your favor soon.  Do what you need to do.  Think about what is best for you.  Your life is too valuable to wallow in this situation the way that it is.  Take care Sharon and you are in my prayers.

Phil

quiltsnroses said...

Don't they say "the only person you can change is yourself" and you can't change situations, but you can change the way you react to them"?  Easier said than done, I know.  I will say prayers that God gives you strength and guidance in whatever you choose to do.    

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

Yep hear ya on the room mate thing mark sleeps on the couch even...LOL..hugs,TerryAnn