Wednesday, December 13, 2006


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Tis the season!  Everybody seems to be getting testy, on edge.  It is apparent here at work and at home.  Bossman is "somewhere out there", glazed over and not with it.  Co-worker is her usual "flakey" self and now Mr Man is all bent out of shape over the shooting of an 18 year old by a cop.

The story is everywhere, but you can read it best in our local fish wrap .  A grand jury indicted the cop on 2nd degree murder, now they are saying "ooops, we made a mistake".  Oh joy.  How do you make a mistake like this??  Guess it's gonna be a rule that it is ok to shoot people through a door just because you're a cop and **it happens.

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Christmas is so close.....can you feel it?  Yes, we've been playing seasonal tunes since Thanksgiving.  Yes, I've gotten most of my house decorated and I've even 97% finished my shopping.  I wasn't really in the mood to decorate.  It becomes such a chore.  And I know I shouldn't feel that way about it.  Where is my spirit this year?  Hmmmm, guess I'm just getting anxious about our trip to Tampa.  Roxy I'll see ya at Jilly's!!

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I always have a moment of saddness during Christmas, usually on the 24th late in the evening.  That's when I'll go outside and gaze up at the stars in the silence.  It is then that I can feel many different emotions.  First is the awe of the night, the anticipation of Santa's arrival, the miracle of the birth of Jesus.   The stars seem especially bright and happy.  The night is so still and quiet and beautiful and it feels good.

mmcOHolyNight.gif yay Missie!!

Then I am saddened by memories of Christmas past, kinda like Scrooge.  I don't like to hear the song "I'll be home for Christmas" because it is what my Dad used to tell us, then he wouldn't show up.  And when he did, there was always an excuse, he was "tired" (drunk).  A lot of let downs at Christmas from him.  It still happens.  I don't make plans with him.  As a matter of fact about 4 years ago I invited him to spend the night on Christmas Eve.  He stayed up all night and was beligerant, drank my booze - booze that I had been given as a gift just that year.  I was ILL!  Beyond ILL.  I said things to him that Christmas day that I should have never said on such a special occassion.  We didn't speak for probably 6 - 8 months. 

XMasAtOurHouse.gif ty LJ!!

I had told him in the past that I would not have him acting that way in my home or around my kid.  How horrible for her if she would have realized her grandpa was sloshed!  She knew I was mad at him and I just explained that he had done something & that he didn't ask for permission.  Gee thanks Dad.

We tried it again the next year and he was OK.  Behaved.  The next 2 years he has had surgery and not been able to come up.  Fine with me, this was NOT a tradition I wanted to start.  

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My Papa isn't around anymore either.  I always look around at where he wasthe last year he was with us and wonder if that's where he'd be sitting again.  The answer is the same --- yes.  (S'cuse me, tears...)  Each year he'd buy coconuts and drainthem, then we'd grate the meat for Nanny to make homemade pies and cakes.  He'd always save me some of the chunks to eat since I didn't eat the pies or cakes.  He would always say "don't buy me nothing".....we didn't listen. 

Tom will be missing his Mother......yesterday was the 9th anniversary of her death.  Duh, THAT'S why he's acting funny and I didn't even realize it till I just wrote it down!

Geepers, this is NOT what I started out to write about, LOL!

 SantaBallbyTeri.jpg snagged from Teri


madcobug said...

I think a lot of us feel down at Christmas because we miss our loved ones at this time. I am sorry that you can't have any happy memories about your Dad at Christmas. I have been feeling sad for a few days now. Hugs, Helen

daniella12800 said...


OMG do I know what you mean about testy people...all day on the phone with people you get attitudes...even on the roads and drivers you see it everywhere...tis the season is right!!LOL!

I am not involved with my father at all due to his drinking and negativity..however half my life he spent in prison so not speaking to him now seems like cake.  Sad to say but if I were never to see him again it would be a good thing...enough said about that!!

Well cheer up and did I read you will be meeting Shelly how awesome..I got to meet a fellow J-Lander myself...Gwen she is awesome!!


emabecmar said...

My Dad showed up on a daily basis, always drunk.  I do hope you have a nice christmas. (((((hugs))))))))

deshelestraci said...

It is a hard time of the year for us "old" people.  It truly is a holiday for the kids.  They have such great expectations and as we get older we get let down too many times.  I have to say that usually I am wishing I could be with my family.  Other than my sister and my grandmother I am not wishing that.  I think three weeks with my mom and dad cured me of that!

garnett109 said...

Mr man has every right to be pissed , I've seen stories of cops breaking in the wrong house and shooting innocent people!
I was raised by drunks, thats why I am, but never made nobodies life miserable during the holiday!
My grams had passed in june, imiss her so, last Christmas as a joke I bought her a farting santa she loved it ! LOL!
Friend don't get down for the holidays!

sugarsweet056 said...

Yes, Christmas is right around the corner. :0
I like you, have mixed emotions at this time of year, if you read my new blog over on blogspot, Monday then you know what I mean.
Hope you have a lovely week.
Blessings, Sugar

eml625 said...

I understand your emotions ..... I get like that missing my mom and dad. Christmas eve was so special growing up, its not the same without them.
hugs to you my friend.

chat2missie said...

It's normal to miss your loved ones at this time of year.  I have a few myself I'll be missing.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))))))))))))))))I am sorry you had to go through all that,I cant actullay say I as a kid,we had pretty good christmas,but,when christmas was gone,Mom and Dad never got along and still dont.Its been kinda crazy here and yesterday I actullay said to myself,I hate christmas.But I like christmas,just this year its haard.I dont know if it will happend,but,Mom and Dad was talking about devorce.Mom said She wanted one,and I think Dad said ok.But I dont know.Look at me,I ddint mean to put all this in your journal,Sorry about that.I hope things will be a better christms this year for you.Have a nice night.

cdittric77 said...

Tis the season to be jolly :)

ksgal3133 said...

Hugs coming your way!
I've tried, tried so hard to be in the spirit for the kids but it's just not working.
I do understand and it's understandable when you miss people to feel like this.
Hang in there!  (Maybe we need to dip into some really good eggnog?? lol)