Friday, June 29, 2007


Today is my wedding anniversary.

Whoop de do.

"Happy" is not describing it......of the past week Mr Man thinks telling me a lie about whether or not he's drinking is the thing to do.

He knows I hate lies.

Lies just make me madder.

Tueday he went fishing with his friend Jim.....the boat was docked at 5:30pm (according to my Mom - her boat); at 7:30pm they drove into my yard and parted ways, only for Tom to go "out to eat".  Claimed not to have had anything to drink.

Funny.....I smell it.

He cannot explain why he tells the tales.

He had been to the 10pm he wasn't home, I cancelled the card.


PLUS, he doesn't understand why I'm apprehensive about the cruise with his Dad next June (Dad turns 80 in May - wanted family cruise). 

I am afraid..............

...........yes, afraid.

I don't like confinement.  I don't want to experience any anxiety attacks of my own while with "the family". 

I don't know what to do.........


ktkamanski said...

Take a deep breathe and follow your gut! Hope all works it way to the finish line before any more mishaps! Sorry your not happy on this day - Happy Anniversary to you and yours!

chat2missie said...

You are in such a pickle.  I'm not sure what you should do.  Lying comes with addiction though.  Even Nicci lied to me while she was restricting her food.  That was an addiction.  You're a strong woman.  You've hung in there longer with him than I think I would have been able to.  Try to have a good weekend.

queenb8261 said...

Happy Anniversary. Sorry it isn't the best one. I hope & pray that things improve. Sorry I haven't been  by lately. With computer woes and life...I haven't been on much. Take care of YOURSELF.
Hugs, Barb  

nhd106 said...

Sad...I sure hope you can find some answers and truths for yourself.


madcobug said...

Wish you could have had a Happy Anniversary. Sorry that you are so undecided about the family cruise. Hope you can make a decision soon. Helen

eml625 said...

Oh sweety, I can relate. I am sorry for the lies.
I hope your anniversary turns out ok.
big hugs,

jckfrstross said...

hope you have a good one:) sorry he keeps lying.


ab45yui said...

Sorry you are going thru this with him, maybe you could check with your doctor and see if there is any mild medication you could take to help with the claustrophobia.  I know what you mean - I suffer anxiety attacks sometimes when I get blocked in traffic.  Not fun.  I hope you have a better day!  God Bless.

mpnaz58 said...

You are in a situation that is not going to get better until he admits he has a problem.  Until then, you are stuck with his behavior, literally.  Do I think you'd be better of without him?  Thats not for me to say.  Love is a beautiful thing, but when it doesn't fulfill you, what else is there?  You have to think of you and your daughter first and foremost.  I lived your life...lies, deceit, hiding, and I had enough.  A ton was lifted off my shoulders, and I've never looked back.  Good luck to you.
xoxo ~Myra

deshelestraci said...

First you need to take care of you.  I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that you are in a no win situation.  I'm sure Mr. man has his good points but lately the bad is outweighing the good.  Take care of you and your girl.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((HUGSTYOU)))))))))))))))))))))))I am sorry things arent working the way you want them to.Yes,you need to work on you,First.You are always in my prayers.Have a nice weekend and Happy 4th of July.

emabecmar said...

So sorry Mr Man feels the need to lie to you. Good one in canceling ATM card. ((((((hugs))))))))))

queeniemart said...

alcoholics will only stop drinking when they want to and Tom doesnt want to. You deserve so much better and i am so sad. I want you and Miss T happy and safe!

katie39041 said...

I am sorry you are going through this. You know your self that Mr Man needs to wake up to his addiction.Maybe a wake up call is called for from you.  I know i would not be going on a cruise with him, its going to magnifiy his problem. sorry ((((((((hugs)))))

newsworthy822 said...

I agree with Lisa Jo that usually addicted people will not stop unless they want to. My treatment center would disagree and say people can be motivated to change in the right environment.  Who knows.  It's different for everyone, I guess... but my experience with my alcoholic father was that he HATED being told what to do, and it made him even more defiant.

It seems this has been going on with Tom for a long time.. and I've said it countless times, but you deserve better. I hope you realize that soon.

robinngabster said...

I read that you were given a Rockin award...where is your acceptance entry.  LOL

acoward15 said...

There's loads to do on cruise ships and usually plenty of room. Just go and throw caution to the wind and enjoy yourself. Perhaps it is time to put yourself first.

vagabondevermore said...

Addictions are difficult to overcome, but not impossible. Mr. Man has to want to let go of the alcohol; you or no one else can do it for him. Until he is willing to admit he has a problem that he is powerless over, he will never stop using.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I come from a long line of addicts. I have heard every excuse in the book. But I have a brother that picked up his 8 year chip. He does it one day at a time.

Take care of yourself.  ~jan

lisa41076 said...

Sharon, sending hugs your way, hope you have a happy 4'th of July tommorow, Hugs Lisa

gehi6 said...

Oh dear, well I can surely relate to drinking problems with a male companion.  I told Doc he was the worst alcoholic I knew up close, he never sobers up and returns to any normalcy.  Just drinks from sunup to bed. I said I have reached as deep as I know how, and don't feel like I have affected you yet, so what have we got to do wait now for a bloody crisis?  Oh, I do so relate, and I also know when the time is not yet ripe for splitting, even though others might not understand. Every relationship with a drinker is different.  Every one calls for different kinds of reactions.  You can't help it  I walk a step behind you, supporting you, but not telling you you ought to do this or that.  I know that you know.  Gerry