Sunday, January 6, 2008

Just say NO begins.

I'm just going to come out and say it!

My kid is perfect.

OK, now let's get real.

Miss T had a friend over last night "M".  I don't care for this kid much.  She's one of those know the kind.  Spoiled-er and not as mature acting as T is.

I had an issue with this kid some 5 years ago....seems "M" had talked T into a compromising situation and T said she "just didn't know what to do". 

So last night they're reeeeeeeeeeal quite, playing with Barbie dolls (something "M" never was interested in doing before).  No TV, no music.  Just quietly.  This M is never a quiet kid.

Yep, I kinda figured that!  One of those "let's play house with the dolls" kinda thing.

I called Miss T out on it this afternoon....said " that game you and M were playing last night that you probably really shouldn't have been doing in the first place, right?"

Another "talked me into it" answer.

So we've had the talk about "just say NO and walk away".

I know Miss T doesn't like fights or confrontation, but she's gonna have to learn to say NO.  That it's OK to say no.

Also overheard last night was "I don't have to, I'm the guest" when it was time to clean up before starting another activity.  I walked into the room, T said "she's not helping" and I said "well, then she just doesn't get asked back ever again".


I know how very awkward it can be to be asked to do or say something that you're just not comfortable with.  Many times in my youth , hell, adult life too, I wished I'd had the gumption to "just say" something without fear of rejection or being embarassed.

Miss T has begun to "bud" a bit since beginning school.  Before long the inevitable relative "Aunt Flo" will be doing her monthly rounds.  Hormones will rage.  She already has temperment! 

"No" is going to HAVE to find a home in her vocabulary when it comes to friends.  

One night when I was, oh, 13-14, I was asked if I wanted to go to the drive in movies with a girlfriend.  Little did I know I was gonna be "left" in the car with the older brother - I had never met this guy before.  He thought he was gonna put the moves on me.  No way.  I was set up!  I think his sister's were off somewhere probably "watching" to see what happened. 

They wasted their money is all I can say.  And I resented being put in that situation.  Plus when I got home, my Mom had called the other brother's house wondering when we'd be home - the one the sister's and I were supposed to be with - he knew nothing about it.  Mom was not happy.

Neither was I....I explained to her how I did not have any idea that it was the OLDER brother going with us and not the one she had called (he worked for them).  Lucky for me she believed me.

Never again did I go out with this crew.  Although one of their cousins ended up being a good friend, and still is to this day.  I was his study buddy - so he could pass Physics. 

Why did they call History Physics?

(ps...check out the other ME journal link on my sidebar)





cuteallison1980 said...

I don't know, but maybe Miss T is a lot like her mother.  Hope you have a nice week. : )


emabecmar said...

saying no is a very good thing. and you were so right in letting it be known there won't be another time id M didn't help clean up. Have a good week. ((((hugs))))

randlprysock said...

Miss T does not know how lucky she is to have a good mommy like you are Sharon!!!  So glad you are sharing this entry.  I have to get better at saying NO.  You have inspired me.   Hugs,

queenb8261 said...

My oldest granddaughter is beginning to bud too. And yes she has the attitude already. I'm SO glad my kids are grown. Course with 5 granddaughters, I imagine there will be hormone a plenty. LOL Ashley has a friend I don't care for also. Lives across the street. Whenever i go outsiide to see what's up...they are NEVER where they say they are.  LOL
Have a great first week of the New Year.
Hug, Barb    

queeniemart said...

Miss T is a GOOD GIRL.....and in time she'll see who is a good friend and who is not and get away from this flaky is hard to say no when you are young....most want to go with the flow and get along with others...i am sure glad nothing BAD happened to you so long ago with that older dude!!!!!

madcobug said...

Good for you going in a making a statement to that girl. I agree with you completely. When my brothers son was small they would come to out house and play with all my son's toys. Then they would all walk out leaving toys everywhere and the mother not telling her son to help pick up the toys when I would have my son picking them up. She got her payback though I started doing the same thing at her house. I felt kinda mean doing that but I felt like it was payback time. Her son was 5 years older than mine. Helen

peytonswater said...

Hmmmm...very interesting. May I ask WHAT they were doing when they were quiet? Your daughter is to sweet to get twisted into that behavior of the other girl.  Way to go mom. Is the other journal "me" yours?

garnett109 said...

have a great week

xxroxymamaxx said...

Oh boy.  Poor Miss T.  It's hard to be a kid!!  Love ya, Shelly

luddie343 said...

Can u believe how quick they become young adults?  Geez.  Miss T will deal with Aunt Flo very well I'd say, since you're intensely aware of all that happens in her life, who she befriends and what they do, etc.  Always there with small wisdoms and true support, done with love and respect.  Congrats Sharon, on creating a decent human being to release into the world!  xoxo CATHY

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))I am sure Miss T will leanr how to say No soon enoguh.That was pretty crule what your friends did to you when you were young.I think,I know my parents would have been mad to.

imgr8phil said...

That story about when you were younger at the drive in.  I don't blame you for being upset at that one . . . being set up like that.  Yes yes yes, Miss T is perfect!  LOL


eml625 said...

I go through this kind of thing all the time with my daughter. We had an incident yesterday with the other parent also, I should blog about it.
I hate confrontations too, luckily my husband thrives on it so he dealt with it.
big hugs,

angcrewswife said...

I have the complete opposite problem so far.. my girls are the bossy ones who have no problem saying no.. wish I didnt have that problem.. though I guess it is decreasing with generation in my house.. =(