Yes....at 5am today I dropped Tom off at the airport. He will be in Houston for 10 days. No mushy good bye's just a kiss at the curb, I didn't even get out of the vehicle.
We have talked. He is saying that he doesn't know why he's doing these things because he really really hates the way he feels. You can see it in his eyes. He says to himself "stupid! stupid! stupid!"....duhhhh yeah I agree.
Your kind words in my comments have helped keep me sane!!!! I've actually emailed some to him for him to read later (names excluded).
So it will be good for him to get away to the brother's - this is a level headed hip shooting man! Got it going on. Tom needs to get out there with him and bare his soul. Funny thing is, bro is gonna say to him the same things I've said.....let's just hope some hit the bullzeye.
Tom says he's coming back with a game plan. I'm still asking him "what if you get sacked and lose the game?" .... what next???
He took my suggestion of taking his Prozac 1 in the morn and 1 at night now and I think it's making a difference in his day. Seems like the 40mg at night was not holding through the day for him somehow. He said that around 1-3pm he gets real gittery.
He has a wire notebook for writing ---- he took it with him. I highlighted some of his previous comments in it like "Sharon and I had it out because I was drinking and.............." so that he can reflect and maybe even let his brother see these things.
I had asked him to start this notebook early last Summer if you recall. Didn't last. Maybe 10 entries. Mostly wrote when he was feeling good, not when he was having crappy moments....which are what we all know we need to document if we're going to solve the puzzle.
I made headlines on a couple of blank pages for himto think over while he's in TX.
--What Don't I Like About Myself?
--What Are My Pains? (on one side physical on the other emotional)
--What I Am I Willing To Do To Change Things?
There was also a note from me in the back of it that said "despite our differences we actually work well together ---- key word being together".
And it's true.......we're fine 80% of the time until.....
The drinking away from home and driving and telling me lies about it. And it's not always stumbling drunk drinking.
Sometimes it is just a 2 beer attitude - the attitude depends on what he is upset about or in pain over and oddly enough Happy About!!
No, I'm not excusing his attitude, or making excuses for him. I know he's in pain....the knee replacement that wasn't a miracle cure.
Still he needs to be Responsible! Da Man! Someone we're not ashamed of.
StepDad bought and mounted 2 new tires and brought them over on Saturday morning!!!!
You know that had to hurt Tom's manhood.
I drove the truck yesterday and THANK GOD the front end didn't show any signs of damage.
Tom said what scared him was "bouncing off the curbs like he did".
I reminded him of Heath Ledger..........it's gonna be Tom's headline soon if he doesn't get a grip.
Raise a glass and a prayer to Texas!