Thursday, February 7, 2008

Ramblings about this week

Lonely Street.........snagged from Joyce!

Yes the truck still sits......I should post a picture of the tires. 

He still claims to have hit a curb (I'm sure he did AFTER) but the tires clearly indicate two very clean puncture from an ice pick.

Has he pissed off someone in da hood?

Where will the next puncture be?  Personal?

I'm afraid if he ventures back, they won't hesitate.  I told him many years ago if he kept going back down there one day he'd end up floating in the river by their hands and not mine.  He would be doing himself in.

I spoke with his brother via email.

I have & will continue to talk to him. The fact of the matter is, if he won't change for his own reasons, he won't do it for anyone else. Maybe you need to set some defined boundries w/ definite consiquences. It's human nature if he can act this way & not suffer the conciquences then why stop? I have asked him to leave my home in the past & would not hesitate to do it again. There seems to be some trouble in his life, weather real or persived. I believe that is the root of this type of behavior. Self destruction is not the way to handle unhappiness. He just needs to be honest about life & make some decisions about what he wants to do. If you two cannot have this kind of disscussion then maybe you can w/ an intermidiate or third party.

His words resound yours of course and they're right on the money as we all know, yes even I know it and have known it for a long while.  I told him I totally agree.

Trouble is Tom refuses therapy.  I suggested hypnosis.  Tom said "haven't thought about that".

Tom claims he cannot talk to me.  He cannot open up and be free to show me his pain.

That's BS....he did it in the beginning of our relationship.  And we've had many heart to hearts since about loads of stuff from his feelings about his Mom, his girls, my daughter, his pains........

I know he's bored with life.  He's retired and refuses to make a life for himself i.e. fishing or volunteering or just sitting at the local greasy spoon talking to the patrons.

His is indeed a sad life.

Sleeps till 11am after taking Miss T to school.  This gives him time to medicate and shower before time to head out (1:30pm) to pick her up.  Then it's homework and off to dance.

So guess what falls in my lap now..... his Mr Mom duties.  And I work.....20 miles away.  Which means that on days when my Nanny or Mom can't pick her up and meet me 1/2 way I'll have to take a late lunch to pick her up and get her to dance.  That will be at least one day.

Monday she dances at 6pm....I just have to leave in time to get home and turn around to come back.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday dance is earlier - 4:30 and 3:45.  Thurs is the day I'd have to boogie to get her.

That is if my Mom is not busy on Tues or Wed.

I'm all for him going to visit the brother in TX.  He FINALLY talked with Mike last night and said "I can't believe I'm doing this stuff again".  Mike said "come on anytime".

Why don't I send him right now?

Gotta check my wallet.  Since I've given him $300 recently and "poof" and I have to be out of town next week I'm NOT gonna be low on cash-ola! 

Tom has a pension and SS income.  We have the normal abi-normal (Young Frankenstein) bills.

(Shhhh I'm not broke and I get paid next week - but he can't know that !!  Or else he'd spend spend spend if on a binge thinking "sharon will take care of it".)

We have separate accounts THANK GOD!  We have a joint acct where his pension & ss is deposited and bills are paid from, gas and grocery etc.

I have a sep. personal at a different bank where my piddly paycheck goes.  Funny, there's ususally money in that one LOL even though I spend it on dance, gifts, grocery and gas too!!!!

But.........times are tough at my job.  The moritorium still has not lifted and we don't have any houses to start yet.  Economy is bad.

So I'm on part time (30hrs) which is what I really want - to be able to go and come as I please where Miss T is concerned.  Except now I'm a one man band cause co-worker moved to TX.  Makes it tougher and boss won't hire anyone else.  Can't blame him.

I feel like Gumby.....always taking care of other situations when I need Tom to be da Man and Mr Mom etc.

There are still dance costumes to get ready BEFORE 2/15.  It's just small stuff right now, adjusting straps etc. 

Miss T feels MUCH better.....a real bad cold.  Poor thing, you should have heard her trying to cough that junk up.  Went to the doc on Tuesday NOT THE FLU!!  She's back at school today; although I'm not gonna let her go to dance need pushing and risk reinfestation.

Today is my FRIDAY!!!  Woooo Hoooo!  Tomorrow I have a hair appointment for root touch up and I need my nails filled.

Pamper time!

  Love you all......thanks for your support.  You guys ROCK and keep me sane!




hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((TPIEZ4ME))))))))))))))I am glad Miss T is feeling better.He needs lots of prayers and H needs to let someone help Him.

chat2missie said...

I think Tom does need to go see his brother for awhile.  Sending you a big hugs.

garnett109 said...

yep debbie puts up with me also

garnett109 said...

yep debbie puts up with me also

deshelestraci said...

Time to quit "cleaning up" after him.  His brother can deal with him for a while.

randlprysock said...

<<More Hugs>> : )

sharonna1955 said...

having live with this for a very long time it is not close to ending for him since he really isnt admitting he has a serious problem.he will just go and snow his family and make it look like you are the your self the pain stop cleaning up his messes and let go ..iam very sorry to be so blunt but it will just continue as long as you enable him to do it and jepardise your husband was sent to the hospital with a head wound from one of his adventures bleed out til he needed three pints of blood and two days later he was on his butt again drunk on side of the road taking a napon the campus of a local college he was walking by.i suffered alone for a long time til i finally saw that i really was the one enableing him to continue this behavior by picking up the pieces he left ..i finally left him in 2000and he got sober right away and has been til this day ...we divorced in 03plweease go to some alanon meetings they will help you to see things differently love you .may god grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change .and to change the things you i did with my life love you ....Sue    

jckfrstross said...

hope it all works out for you and Tom. Praying for you all


cuteallison1980 said...

My heart goes out to you.  I agree that you should make him do what you want and give him consequences if he doesn't.  You need to have a good life for you and Miss T and if he won't listen, then make him, and if he refuses then he has made his bed and he can lay in it.  Have a happy tomorrow, ok?  : )


eml625 said...

My heart goes out to you. You have so much to deal with between Miss T and work to have to worry about him like this.
I wish I could say something to make all this better.

mpnaz58 said...

It takes courage to continue in the situation you are in.  I understand marriage and commitment, but there will come a day when you will be stretched to your limit, he will cross that line and you will be left with years wasted.  I pray that doesn't happen, and he gets the help he needs (but doesn't want), sooner than later.  "Be the woman you want your daughter to be"...your example is a valuable lesson for your daughter.  Take care...
xoxo ~Myra

rgossett4195 said...

one step at a time a day at a'll be clear.  rose

queeniemart said...

i hope he DOES go to his need time to reflect without him near you...he just makes up one excuse after the other....i wonder what rock bottom is for him? I bet it would be losing you and Miss T.