Sunday, April 23, 2006

Friday & Saturday Saga

First let me say that I dodged a bullet on Friday.  My single friend kept calling me and asking if I would keep his little girl (same age as T) Friday night.  Well, I'm going to Raleigh to pick up Tom.....he said "she can go and keep T entertained".  HELLO!!!  I'm trying to point out to you that I have plans and duh, it's not gonna be a fun night.  He pursued.  I called Tom and told him about this and I said that "the best thing you can tell me is that you don't want to deal with 2 kids after your trip" and I explained to him how I was stressing over this.  Actually I was getting a mamouth headache.  So I called the guy back and said that Tom really didn't want to put up with 2 girls that late at night.  He said "well tell them to go to sleep".   (!!!!)  I said "yeah right" and that I didn't want to go against Tom's wishes since he'd be tired from the trip and flight...he seemed to understand this time.   WHEW!

Here's my problem.....I am the only friend he has with another child her age.  He has the kid every other weekend and he calls just to "get them together" which ususally ends up in one of them spending the night with the other.  Only thing is these girls are totally opposite of each other and that leads to a lot of turmoil and stress.  I feel sorry for the little girl (we'll call her "M").  Daddy had something he wanted to do, so he was looking for a place to dump M.  Well, he knows when it's his turn, so he should not make other plans for himself.  I understand that sometimes he has to work or there is a pre-planned event (he owns his own business and rides a Harley) and I've said he could drop her off if he needed to work some Saturday mornings.  But I'm gonna have to put my foot down on this kid.  T & M were in daycare together, then they went to the same school for Kindergarten.  Mom & Dad split up & moved into the city which separated the kids.  (YAY! I said)  There really is not a reason for these girls to see each other anymore, since they are not involved in any related activities.

Now that I've got that off my chest...........It was great to see Tom coming down that escalator at the airport.  And he was glad to be home.  His plane was 20 minutes late so Tara & I had dinner at the Crabtree Valley Mall and strolled around window shopping while we waited till 9 to head over to the airport.  All was good until we got to the parking garage....T started hearing unfamiliar noises and was in a strange place.  She began to panic.  I broke off some Xanax for her hoping this would help.  The legs were restless, her breathing was short, her heart was racing and no amount of explanations from me calmed her down.  This went on until we were finally in the truck to head back home (10:30).  It was 12:30am when we finally pulled into our driveway.

Saturday was a bit lazy up till the time to head over to the dance competitions.  It began to get dark and rain.....Tara started her panic routine again.  Scared of the storm.  I should have given her something to calm her down, but I didn't think of it.  I figured she'd get OK especially once we arrived at the auditorium.  WRONG.  She was OK while we were driving (she was watching a DVD), but once dressed and on the wings of the stage, she started with the breathing and flinging of hands.  Even said for the 2nd dance "I can't go on" and I said "Oh yes you can!"  (WILL)  You could see it in her face while she was dancing.  (Jazz got high gold and Lyrical got high gold w/5th overall in points for their category - proud mommy).

Once she was undressed, we headed out for some dinner.....she just wanted to go to sleep (sleep makes the world a better place for someone dealing with a panic attack).  We needed some dinner and awards were to start at 10pm.  So we headed to a Chili's, but the wait was a long one and she was still panic stricken.  We went to a pizza joint and she sat there with her head on my shoulder most of the whole time...refusing to eat or drink much at all.  By this time I had broken off more Xanax to get her through this.  She did not even want to go back for awards but I insisted.  Even Tom was ready to get home.  He does not understand these attacks....he thinks there is something wrong, medically, with her.  I understand them to a degree because I have them.  Guess we're going back to the shrink soon.

During the awards ceremony she wouldn't go up on the stage to be with everyone else.  But as it progressed, she turned into her usual self.  I think what happened was that she began her fears with the storm, and then it was raining at the auditorium so everything was in time to be hanging out with friends to distract the fears.  Oh the joy of dealing with anxiety attacks in a 9 year old.  Her dance friends were genuinely least they weren't making fun.  They really are an awesome group and the parents & teachers are very supportive and understanding.

So now it's Sunday and she seems like her old, loving, sweet, bossy self again.  Feels like a Jeckyl and Hyde syndrome....................


lifes2odd said...

Poor baby. That's a lot to have to deal with at her age. Glad things are back to normal today!! Martha

pennietoonz said...

It`s hard to say no sometimes, isn`t it? You can just tell him you can`t do it, and you really don`t owe him an explanation. Poor kid.
I`m glad your Tom is home again and that your daughter is doing better. :0)

chat2missie said...

We've been dealing with anxiety attacks with my daughter since she was a little girl.  It's gotten a little better, but sometimes, she just can't help it.  Good Luck.

cacklinrosie101 said...

It sure looks like someone is trying to take major advantage of you.  If the two girls really don't get along, I think he needs to search out another friend and stop trying to pawn his child off on you.  Put your foot down.  He may not like it but that's too bad.  He should be spending time with her.  That's what visitation is for.  I have had panic attacks since I was a child also.  I also suffered from clinical depression for many years.  My 22 year son has also.  Not easy to deal with but meds are a God send.  Tara will do fine.  Just keep her in treatment.  Glad your hubby is home safe and sound.  HUGS  Chris

njmom72 said...

Sounds like this guy is taking advantage of you so he doesn't have to watch his kid. That's a shame, he's missing out on time he should be spending with his daughter.

~ Susan