Saturday, August 25, 2007

Tom, ER & 12 hours

Yep, you read that right

ER

Let me summarize.

Tom worked till 3pm; had one glass on wine with a friend.

Then came home, grabbed fishing gear and went off with another friend till about 9pm....no water, no food, one beer.

THEN proceeded to the bar........vodka.

I found him, took his keys and left him there.  He began to walk home.  Got tired; called his friend "J".

J shows up with him and says "he wants to go to the hospital, he's having chest pains."

He's very beligerant to me....saying "what do you care" etc.

Roomie, being the PA that she is, checked his pulse and listened to heart....we gave him one nitro tablet at 10:55pm and one more at 11:05pm......

J takes us to get truck and Tom and I head out to the hospital.

Once we were on the way  I called his doc's cell number and said that we were on the way.  I reminded the doc that in April he had talked to Tom about a cardiology referral but that had fallen to the side and we were on the way to the ER....he said good luck.  You could hear his "uh oh" realization in his voice.  JERK!

 On the way to the hospital he is still beligerant to me....I called Roomie, put her on speaker phone and she talked to him asking him to calm down and take another nitro.

At hospital he refused to be nice to me or even let me be nice to him.  I checked him into the ER at 11:45pm.

At 12:45 I was leaving, in tears.  He was still grumbling at me saying "he didn't deserve this" and when I grabbed the bag to put his belongings in he said "go ahead and put it over my head" so I said Shut up!  I asked if I could get him anything (ice, water etc) and he said "I don't need anything from you".

I left....the nurse asked if I needed help and I said "just make a notation in his chart that he's an asshole".

I cried all the way home.  I didn't even tell him I was leaving.

I called his brother and explained what was happening.  Once home Roomie and I had a long talk.   At 3am I tried to sleep but failed and was still awake at 4:30am.....woke up about 9:30.

Called hospital.....Tom was having a nuclear stress test and would be out about noon.  I got to the hospital at 12:30pm; he was released at 1pm.  Stress test was normal; blood enzymes were slightly elevated; told to follow up with his doc in 2 weeks.

I have called a different doctor and left a message that he needs an appointment.

Tom still would not talk to me once he was discharged.

Roomie had a talk with Tom.....told him the brutal truth of his mixing alcohol with the meds and that his Hep C liver damage was further damaging his heart; thus he was on a mission of impending death, which was certainly his choice, but to stop fighting against ME and scaring Tara.

The docs told him he had to quit smoking and get on a decent diet.  It is 5pm and he is still not ready to talk with me....says he is calm and wants to remain relaxed.

I may take Miss T to Mom's and roomie and I head over to the beach house for the night giving Tom the alone time he needs.

Right now I am so tired.  I need a nap!

21 comments:

nhd106 said...

How sad.  You did a very good thing...a VERY good thing.   He doesn't know a good thing when he's got it.  

Nancy

garnett109 said...

I'm going to hell in a bucket baby but at least I'm enjoying the ride, at least I'm enjoying the ride.
Greatful Dead

deshelestraci said...

Nancy said it all.
Traci

newsworthy822 said...

wow... i cannot believe how stubborn and hard-headed tom is when you're trying to help him!  I feel for you in what you're going through.  Maybe this will be a wake-up call for him?
hugs
melissa

lifes2odd said...

I'm sorry Sharon. I hope you will go on over to the beach house. Maybe you should plan to stay for an extended period of time ::sigh::

chat2missie said...

I'm sending hugs your way!!!!
Missie

barebytes said...

I can't say anything new here..... you've heard it all before and still he doesn't realize how much love you return for the greif he hands out. If he won't make the right choices, then I'm afraid it's up to you to decide what is more important. For we all know that you can't keep going on like this. Hugs and prayers, Lanny

randlprysock said...

I'm so sorry to hear about all this.  I'd be totally exhausted and emotionally drained.  Super Hugs!!!!  One day Tom will look back and say he didn't mean all this.  Sorry the friend acted like he did also.  Hugs, and more hugs,
Lisa  

jckfrstross said...

i do hope you take Tara and roomie and go away for the weekend:)

Deb

robinngabster said...

Sad thing is I dont think he knows how lucky he is to have you.  Not many women would put up with him.  Hang in there and try to take care of yourself...

mpnaz58 said...

Oh, Sharon, I am so sorry...how stressful...and how mean of him to be mean to you!!  Its his own guilt thats eating away at him, and makes him feel good to take it out on you.  Tara must be terrified!!  He is doing this to himself, but taking everyone along for the ride...not fair!!
xoxo~Myra

xxroxymamaxx said...

(((Sharon)))  Big hugs for you.   I wish you could come stay with me.  Hope your at the beach.  If not, take care of yourself.  Love always, Shelly

eml625 said...

I am so sorry for this, that you have to go through this. Take Miss T to your moms, that's a great idea, she needs time away; with school starting its just shitty timing.
Stay strong, I'm here if you want to talk.
((((((HUGS)))))))))
Ellen

imgr8phil said...

I know he is sick but you don't have to put up with that kind of stuff.  Like you said, he is on a mission to kill himself and obviously he feels sorry for himself and he wants people to stay away from him so he can rationalize that it is not his fault that he isn't liked.  If he keeps up the way he is he will make your decision easy for you . . . you will be without him and instead of you leaving you will be burying him.  I feel so badly for you.  Take care and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Phil

nightmaremom said...

ohhhh I am so sorry... I can't even imagine the stress.  Hugs and strength your way.
d

cuteallison1980 said...

I'm so sorry.  No one should treat another like you have been treated.  I know it has to be so hard on you.  If you ever need someone to talk to or listen to you I am here.  

Allison

katie39041 said...

This guy certainly does not deserve a loving caring wife, he should not be this way towards you, his behavour is appaling.Maybe he needs a little shock to his system to make him change his lifestyle choices. Whatever happens you are a saint to put up with him,
love and hugs
Katie

queeniemart said...

HE IS AN ASS.  I know you love him but he is an ass and i am pissed.....you love him and take care of him and you are such a wonderful person and he acts like this over and over.I wish there was something i could do for you!!!!
LOVE, lj

layla44808 said...

Hope things go better for you this coming week..I certainly know what it's like to have a husband with a mouth like that..
Take care,
Sheri

cacklinrosie101 said...

Same old; same old, Sharon.  You can't save those that don't want to be saved.  He needs to give up the booze and whatever else first.  I don't think giving up smoking at the same time would be a great thing.  But it's Tom's decision.  If he won't, you can't do it for him.  You also can't keep playing the mean mama.  It's gonna kill your spirit.  Hope you got away and got some peace and rest.  Girl, I'm thinking of you.  You know that.  love ya, Chris

acoward15 said...

I wish I had the words to offer you some comfort, but I don't know what to say. Take care, you are in my thoughts.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/acoward15/andy-the-bastard